Look at my hunk-o-burnin'-love

I know it is slightly rediculous that I haven't put hardly any pictures of Atticus on here. These are favorite as of late.

What's in, what's out

Now that Atticus is a whole 3 1/2 months old, different things impress him in different ways.
WHAT IS IN:
1. stuffed animals - nowadays Atticus spends hours holding them and sucking on them with fierce concentration

2. discovering feet - now he grips his feet as if they are gonna fall off. I'm surprised he hasn't done this with his penis yet.

3. playing with mobile toys in his bouncer- now he has the eye and hand coordination to reach out and touch them. It is really thrilling that just some dangly, rattle things can capture his attention for twenty minutes at a time. I can actually take a shower without Atticus screaming until he turns red.

4. bath time- he loves water already so much that he actually giggles with the widest smile ever.

5. sitting in a shitty diaper- lately it seems if I catch a loaded diaper I wouldn't have known beside the distinct whipped cream canister sound. Atticus will just be sitting there with a big smile. Luckily since I've been home all the time he'll always be changed pronto. Can't always guarantee that with a babysitter.

WHAT IS OUT:
1. pacifiers- Atticus spits these out with such disgust now as if offended I dare try put something in his mouth when its not milk.

2. shoes and socks- it is just plain talented at kicking one or more socks or shoes when I had just saw them on. So defiant and lovable, the little kick stand!

3. being swaddled- nothing will hold Atticus back. He refuses to let his arms be bound. Automatically the arms come out when I bundle him up for the night. Sometimes when I swaddle him the response is a pitiful cry.

4. stop lights in the car- the moment the vehicle stops Atticus tells me the ride is not fun anymore. Until we start moving again.

Stay tuned... things will change again in a week.

Morning ritual

Each morning runs into the next. Around 2am or 4:30am, somewhere in between he wakes up. By now I've become an expert with which grunts mean he's about to cry. I pick up his tiny, long gangly body, reminding me once again half awake how precious and infant he is. Moments like this I cherish, and being half awake the realization of being a mother crashes down on me hard. The heaviness of it.

His legs kick in anticipation in the bassinett. More and more each day his body grows out of the tiny newborn stage to a very long, increasingly heavier infant body. Now Atticus takes up my whole lap and sits up while I feed him. Afterwards he satisfies his constant need to suck by sticking his favorite toy giraffe in his mouth. Atticus actually holds his giraffe tight against him, gripping him and moving him along with his reflexive jerks. He's already interested in toy animals, a stage I never grew out of. My bunny Hazel resembling the worn velveteen rabbit is testament to that. Everyday most hours are spent feeding Atticus. Unfortunately this has made my journaling and blogging suffer. So many initial details have been lost and he's growing too fast. I love these days with him, where I prop him up on his boppy while I do housework and he sits there watching me. I know he can only slide down, but that is the extent of his attempts at getting away. I don't want this to change yet- our days together I can carry him along like an extension of me. I will cry when I'm not able to lug him around and he runs away, discovering his surroundings himself. I know this is selfish, but time is going too fast. When I am offered a job eventually we'll never have this daily bonding again. Atticus' eyes only follow where I am. He's so attached and spends every waking hour with me. But today I can still hold Atticus and experience that rush of love when he peers up at my face in wonder and appreciation. Fin.